A Blog
This new year, I’m trying to grow my positive tree. So the goals are to try to be more kind, grateful, and less cynical. I can try to be more kind by watching my words and trying not to say everything on my mind. My therapist helped me to start a gratefulness activity (if you will everyday). For example, mainly trying to remember to appreciate my husband and what he does for me instead of what he doesn’t do. My goal is to list something I’m grateful for everyday and I intend to start here. Less cynical….ehh, that might be the hardest one. But I did learn that while I like to be on my high horse thinking I seek knowledge and love in an objective reality while pointing fingers at others and joking about their inability to live in reality, I’ve also not been living in reality. A part of me knows changing things and the way they’ve been is improbable and out of the realm of reality, but I’ve just been hoping that people’s actions would change. Sometimes you can’t get what you want, so you have to adjust. It just sucks when the other person doesn’t want to join you in effort but that’s nonetheless. And my therapist suggested I pick up the slack even more and see how things go and also and most importantly, to list something, at least in my head, or preferably to write it down I thought, one good thing about my husband or something I’m grateful for about my husband.
Jan 1st- I’m grateful my husband was affectionate, asked me to dance to our song, and helped cook a prime rib, collard green, black eyed peas, cornbread, mac and cheese and sweet tea dinner 🤤🤤🤤
January 6th-He bought me pretzels and cookies from Tanger 😍 He’s so sweet with gift giving, especially knowing I love food most of all.
January 7th-He picked up lunch from Mickey D’s and I had my counseling appointment where I decided with my counselor’s help, I was going to do this every day. I was supposed to do a blog anyway, so I might as well start here.
January 7th- He kissed me in the shed randomly playing pool.
January 8th- He had a skin cancer burned off of his back and has been a champ and was affectionate and light spirited today. We went to Walgreens to buy bandaids, fill his burn cream, and he wanted a calendar but they didn’t have one. Then we went to the grocery store and he bought the groceries and I bought Dairy Queen for lunch then cooked potato soup and cornbread for dinner. Steven made a fire. He also helped me this morning by walking out to the office to help me with an assignment I was stressed about and he just remains so calm when I’m a crying mess. He lets me vent, he vents with me about life and it doesn’t feel like he judges me like most people probably would. He’s so easy going.
January 9th- He came out to the office twice where we got to vent to each other about Walgreens and other things and talk about the news like the fires in Cali. He sat and watched 2024-25 The Challenge (Battle of the Eras) Final with me.
January 10th- Stayed home this Friday because it snowed very minimally and watched the Real World all day. He bought me some brownie mix from the store when he had to go. And he was affectionate with me at bedtime.
January 11th- The snow had melted. It was a cold day so we watched a JonBenet Ramsey Documentary on Netflix, The Challenge Season 11 and played alot of pool in the evening. Today I was thankful that my husband is a great, pleasant friend and we can laugh and joke and have fun just us.
January 12th- Today I’m grateful that my husband and myself are more similar than different. Dr. Mayo, my first psychology professor taught me that studies show birds of a feather flock together and it is not true that opposites attract. I do see the drawl of opposites and my husband and I are different in alot of ways. I think at our core, we’re alike but of course I’m the woman and I’d be more emotional and what if he was just as emotional? I mean, not that I need that or anything. But he remains calm where I have freaked out about little things. He remains calm. And that’s definitely, probably, most likely (🤣🤣) a good thing. So in that way, I guess opposites do attract. Today we played pool on this Sunday afternoon with a friend and ordered pizza delivery from the one place that will deliver. He put the ground beef for the taco meat back in the fridge rather than let it finish thawing out today because I joked I didn’t want to cook (just a joke) as I’m PMSing and he thought then we’d just order pizza. By near 4 I was starving and he ordered it. I’m grateful for food he gives me. And this morning he asked me if I wanted an eggo waffle (from ones he bought on his trip to DG randomly yesterday when he also got the brownie mix). That’s a first at having one of those in a minute.
January 13th- A Monday. Today I’m grateful he came to the car, even got off the phone with a buddy turns out, to help me bring in stuff from my Walmart run. I went by myself and got a head start on Valentine’s Day since I suck at giving him gifts and basically didn’t get him anything for Christmas. He also needed a calendar so I got him a funny dog confessions calendar. I really wanted to get him the Sports Illustrated one for SaGs bc they had a selection indeed lol. He was thankful for the juice, calendar and cookies and gave me a hug and kiss and said thank you. He also vacuumed.
January 14th- I’m grateful he worked on cleaning his room today and he bought groceries.
January 15th-We played pool together. I’m grateful we have this in common and have fun. Basically talk about anything.
Where have the days gone? I honestly couldn’t think of anything Thursday I guess.
January 17th- Today I’m grateful he grabbed a toilet paper holder for my grandmother’s bathroom for me after I called and asked him next time he was in the hardware store to grab one because hers broke.
January 18th- He got Waffle House on his own without asking. He got me a plain waffle, bacon and hash browns. He’s so thoughtful when I comes to food for me.
January 19th- He out my grandmother’s toilet paper holder up on his way back from golf and picked up Jacks for dinner. He was loving at night.
January 20th- It’s getting cold outside so he spent alot of time getting firewood together. It was the NCAA championship. Kissed me goodnight.
January 21st- It snowed in the afternoon and we came home and played pool together. Glad we have this hobby together. He got me food from the local BBQ place.
January 22nd- We walked to work together, snow everywhere. We played pool, threw snowballs. We had a deep long talk. Lots of conversation and I’m grateful he was open this time. Some things from the past were brought up that gives me concerns but I’m just grateful he opened up.
January 23rd-He was sort of affectionate tonight on the couch. He sat next to me first.
January 24th-Im grateful he watches Based on a True Story with me.
January 25th- I’m grateful he was affectionate with me this morning.
January 26th- Today I’m grateful that his simplicity balances out my complexity. I made sure bacon was cooked when he got home. He noticed the smell of bacon aloud as he walked in the door, took his cooler to the kitchen and kissed me (with a mouthful of said bacon in my mouth). He proceeded to eat leftover delivery pizza from 1/25(Sat night). Then he later ate bacon. Really quiet day. I wanted to vent about my loneliness and did a little but he was having none of it lol.
January 27th- He offered and brought me lunch to work while I was on the phone with customer support all day and vented together for a minute about the day and life.